Strange Things Just Happen Here
by Andatariel.x
Summary: What do the residents of South Park do when they all wake up the wrong gender? Slash/Femmeslash I guess.
1. Chapter 1

Gregory of Yardale opened his eyes and yawned before peering at the clock, 6am but that was normal, he often woke early if he'd gone to bed at a reasonable time the previous night. He rubbed his eyes and yawned again before sitting up in bed and stretching, something was wrong, he noticed it immediately, his body felt wrong, chest too heavy, legs shut fully without any discomfort and his hair was too long. Gregory looked down, "What the fuck?"

Christophe DeLorne didn't like being woken early, especially not when he'd been forced to sleep on the sofa and especially not when it was to some stupid British blonde swearing in his stupid British accent. "Gregory shut ze fuck up." The Frenchman groaned into the sofa cushions.

"Christophe look at me!" Gregory whined and Christophe could hear him walking over to the mirror.

"Yes, you 'ave morning 'air, I don't care go back to bed." Christophe groaned wondering to himself if he could be bothered to get up to go and smack the blonde.

"No!" Gregory snapped sounding even girlier than normal. "I'm a woman!"

"I know zat!" Christophe growled throwing the duvet off and sitting up to glare at the blonde. Then despite it being six in the morning, despite him hating mornings and despite wanting to punch the blonde in the face he started laughing.

"Oh my…" Gregory's eyes went wide as he looked at the laughing mercenary.

"What?" Christophe spluttered.

"Chris… um… come and look at yourself." Gregory said biting his lip.

* * *

Kyle Broflovski didn't like being woken up at all. Especially not after doing a job until late and then being made to sleep in Gregory's den whilst Christophe slept in the blondes room. And he certainly didn't like it when he'd had less than his full eight hours sleep and woke up to the French man yelling about something in the room across the hall.

Kyle flung the covers off and stomped across the hall slamming the den door and then flinging Gregory's bedroom door open, "What the fuck could you possibly find to be yelling about at six in the morning, do you have no consideration for people who might be trying to sleep on an uncomfortable sofa that isn't even long enough for them when they've been out working all night?" Kyle paused to take in breath and then gasped.

"What… uh…" he put his hand up to his mouth and his arm hit something soft and squishy and attached to his chest… that wasn't right, Kyle moved the hand and put both over his chest, his far too large chest and made a small sound of indignation and shock. "Why are we female?"

* * *

Kenny McCormick rolled over in bed and discovered his face was buried between a pair of naked breasts, surely it was a dream, he hadn't gone to bed with a woman, Kenny didn't like the kind of dreams where he felt awake so he squeezed his eyes shut and moved a hand up, just to check if he really was awake.

"What are ya doin'?" A southern accent asked, and the terrifying thought that somehow his mom was in his bed and he'd touched her boob woke the blonde up instantly and he sat bolt upright.

The person in bed next to him looked like it would have been Kevin, if it weren't female. Kenny blinked in confusion a few times as the woman who looked remarkably like his older brother if his older brother were a sister instead sat up and looked at him equally confused.

"Ken… you 'ave tits…" It was Kevin, but it wasn't because Kevin was a man… and what had he said?

Kenny looked down with an expression of shock that turned to horror and then amusement very quickly. "I have boobies!" He said awed, "I have big boobies!"

Kevin was too busy staring at his own now feminine physique to notice as Kenny got out of bed, wondered over to the mirror, took his top off and then grinned. "I'm hot!" the younger McCormick said in a pleased tone.

* * *

"CRAIG!"

Craig Tucker was used to his boyfriends freak outs, sometimes he even managed not to get angry when he was being woken up by one, this morning was one of those days where he squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath and then got up to deal with it. He realised there was something wrong as soon as he swung shapely hairless legs out of the bed and realised that they were attached to his body.

Of course somebody had to stay calm in this situation and considering the large breasts that were also now a part of his body Craig figured that maybe the same thing had happened to Tweek and that somebody had to not freak the fuck out if it had.

Instead of panicking Craig made his way to the bathroom and swung the door open. Tweek Tweak was stood in the big shirt he'd gone to bed in tugging waist-length messy blonde hair and looking in horror at his now female reflection.

"Craig why am I a girl?" The blonde screeched turning around to look at his boyfriend. Then he stopped mid screech and stared, looking first at the womanly legs sticking out of Craig's Red Racer shirt and then up to the boobs and finally at Craig's hairless face. "You're one too…"

Craig nodded slowly and walked over to Tweek, resting a hand on the blondes shoulder, "Yeah, I am,"

Tweek stood shaking and not saying anything so Craig continued, "If it happened to us I'd bet the rest of South Park is like this too,"

Tweek nodded, visibly getting calmer.

"Come on, we'll get you a coffee, me a cigarette and make some phone calls." Craig reassured.

* * *

Bebe Stevens couldn't think what the hell she was meant to do, her boobs were her best asset and they were gone, sure her male physique was more than hot just as her female one had been but that wasn't the point, she couldn't even pee without making a mess.

It didn't help that her boyfriend, well girlfriend currently, was standing in front of her full length mirror wearing her panties and playing with his new boobs.

So Bebe did the only thing she could think of and picked up her phone to call Wendy instead, the one person who might even be slightly helpful in a situation like this.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry this took ages, I ran out of ideas since most of them got used in a roleplay __ Iunno how long it'll take for the next chapter but I'm going girly shopping next weekend and I'm hoping it'll inspire me xD

* * *

"Well at least it isn't just me and Stan then," Wendy Testaburger was saying down the phone to Bebe, who was apparently also the wrong gender.

Stan wasn't sure if he should call his friends though, what if it was only different sex couples who it had happened to? They were going to ridicule him.

"Stanley?" Randy Marsh yelled up the stairs.

"Yes dad?" Stan called back down opening his bedroom door and peering out, he felt so stupid but at least his dad was a woman too and God, he thought adjusting his breasts again, why were bras so weird feeling?

"Son… daughter… uh… Your friends are here," Randy yelled up the stairs.

"Those are massive!" Stan heard his older sister…. Brother? Oh shit he was so confused, exclaim downstairs.

"LEAVE MY BOOBS ALONE!"

At least Kyle was having the same problem, Stan thought to himself as he ventured downstairs feeling stupidly self-conscious wearing his girlfriends clothing.

He was greeted by the site of Kyle wearing a somewhat tight and very expensive looking shirt, skirt and womens shoes, he was glaring at Shelley who was creasing herself in laughter and being joined in her laughter by a tall brunette in a vest and combats. The petite blonde standing with them couldn't have been much over five foot tall and was wearing a large mans shirt belted in to make a dress and tights, she looked about as pissed off as Kyle.

"Gregory? Christophe?" Stan asked mouth dropping open.

"Yep," Gregory replied shortly, he didn't sound impressed with his predicament at all.

"Oh my god!" Wendy said emerging in the doorway behind Stan, "Gregory you're adorable!" she squealed, well as much as any man with a broken voice can squeal.

Gregory went bright red and hid his face behind a curtain of blonde hair, "Wendy shut up…"

"Let me do your make up? Pleaaaase?" Wendy asked and Stan felt glad he hadn't been subjected to make up so far.

"Are you going to bother me until I let you?" Gregory asked folding his arms.

"Yep!" Wendy said grabbing him and dragging him towards the direction of Stan's room where her make-up kit was.

This induced another round of hysterical laughter from Shelley and Christophe, and this time even Kyle joined in.

* * *

"So we don't know what the hell is going on, we don't know how to fix it-" Bebe was saying once her and Clyde had arrived at the Marsh's house and they'd all assembled around the kitchen table.

"Why would we want to?" Clyde cut in looking horrified.

Bebe glared at him, "I rather liked being a girl, thank you."

"This feels so much better, thanks Bebe," Kyle said emerging back in the kitchen, he'd found out with Wendys help that his boobs were the same size as Bebes had been, so she'd leant him a bra.

"Are you kidding? These things feel like death," Stan grumbled shifting his chest for the millionth time.

"You'll get used to it, better than having something hanging between your legs anyway," Wendy replied rolling her eyes at Bebe.

"Yeah," Bebe agreed, "I can't even sit properly, or pee!"

"Told you they're hard to aim!" Clyde exclaimed frowning at his girlfriend.

There was a knock on the door and Kenny walked in with a big grin on his face, he was wearing a low-cut green vest and a denim miniskirt and looking thoroughly pleased with himself, "Isn't this awesome?" He said gesturing at his breasts.

"Finally somebody agrees!" Clyde exclaimed happily.

"Yeah well, first man to tell me to get in the kitchen's getting punched," Christophe grumbled folding his arms across his chest.

Bebe leant forwards smirking, "Hey Chrissy, make me a sandwhich,"

Christophe glared at her.

"Kenny," Kyle asked clearing his throat, "Are you wearing your sisters clothing?"

Kenny grinned, "Yeah and she has to wear Kevins! She wasn't impressed,"

"Kevin's a girl?" Shelley asked grinning.

Kenny nodded.

"This I have to see!" Shelley said getting up and grabbing Stans coat out of the cupboard.

"He's probably looking at his boobs still," Kenny sighed as Shelley headed out of the door.

* * *

As with most issues in South Park it was eventually decided that everybody should meet in Harbucks, especially as most people needed to go and get at least one outfit of the opposite genders to wear until everything was sorted out.

"You look like a dyke." Was the first thing Christophe said to Craig when they arrived.

Craig was wearing his Red Racer shirt and baggy mens jeans, his hair reached his chin, in fact he was the first of the guys to have retained pretty short hair even as a girl. Craig glared at him and flipped him off, "So do you," he replied.

Christophe looked horrified.

"And this is exactly why we all need to go shopping," Bebe said sounding rather excited at the prospect of taking so many girls out to buy clothes.

"Well hey fellas… Oh, I'm sorry, you aren't…" Butters looked thoroughly fine with the new development, in fact he seemed pretty natural being female.

Craig sighed, "So… shopping?"

"Well half the ladies here are braless for a start and that can't be comfortable!" Bebe said with a happy smile, then she looked around at Butters, "You look so cute!"

Butters blushed, "W-why th-thank you Bebe."

"Oh my god, I can't wait to take you to get clothing!" Bebe said pulling Butters over to her and making him twirl around.

"Dude… she's the gayest man ever…" Stan whispered to Kyle.

"She's like Gregory only taller and meaner," Christophe commented under his breath, still not having quite forgiven her for calling him Chrissy and telling him to make her a sandwich.

"Tweek, Red, come on we gotta go," Craig called into the back of the coffee shop.


End file.
